What if?

Regrets. I’ve had them. You’ve had them. We’ve all had them. But how can we stop living in a regretful state of mind? How can we learn to accept the past? How?

The constant “what if” that is whispering in your ears is not your friend. Many years I’ve believed that contemplating and analyzing every single fricking decision couldn’t do any harm. Wrong thinking, at least that’s what I believe. It accumulates stress, negativity and bad emotions that you should get rid of as they only harm your soul, weakening your body.

-What if I went in that trip?

-What if I had chose another college?

-What if I had gone to a different job?

-What if I had left everything behind?

-What if… ?

Why do we keep insisting on hurting ourselves? I’ve put so much blame on my shoulders for so many things that my life seemed miserable in my eyes. I was sad all day and unproductive, tired of all those thoughts that were drowning my soul. Constantly imagining a better future than the one I was living and breathing. Nothing was ever good enough as it always was something that could have been done better. I hated myself when instead I should have loved… just loved my existence. Should I have continued down the road of sorry it would have landed me in a field of darkness and emptiness… in a dungeon of my own creation. Why be a prisoner of my own mind? I want to be free, free from the weight that was pushing me down. I want to be alive.

The “what if” questions are masks meant to hide our fears; fear of the unknown, fear of getting out of the comfort zone. So we start fantasizing of what would have happened or could happen if we would have had the courage and the knowledge?

“Maybe, just maybe, if I had done that differently then things would have been better today.” Would they? Can you absolutely be sure of everything? Can you anticipate with a 100% accuracy? Your past made who you are today. Change one thing and you can change everything.

Focus on what you can still take action. Acknowledge your mistakes and learn from them. Be a better friend to yourself. The future is yours to write, but be careful… erasers only work on paper.

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves – regret for the past and fear of the future.” – Fulton Oursler

Love, D.

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