Did you stay or did you go?

Was there a moment in your life where you had to make a big decision? Where an opportunity turned up and you had to make a choice that would change everything? What did you do? Did you stay or did you go?

I ponder upon this question for some time now and I don’t know what to do. The scared part of me wants to stay and the curious one wants to go. I live in an Eastern European country and I have the possibility to relocate to Dublin because my uncle already lives there for 6 years. Hence I do not have to worry about finding a rent.

My boyfriend and I, both graduated here and I have worked for 2 years in a corporate environment. Now I work for a big company in my city which is great for my development but I also do not feel that I could reach my entire potential. He also has worked for 3 years in the IT field and now has a job as a database programmer. Therefore it is quite hard for us to leave our jobs behind, even though we are not happy with what we do. The salaries are pretty low in our country and the possibility of opening a business is quite hard because of the overall close minded mentality. On paper my life seems perfect yet it is falling apart.

We are scared that we might not get a good job there and that we would end up more frustrated than we are today. Our plan for the future would be to start something together or separate but at the moment it sounds so unreal for us. Another thing that scares us is coming back here and encountering difficulties in finding good jobs again.

At the same time we agreed one year ago on buying a perfect apartment that will be handed over at the end of December. In order for us to buy it we will have to make a loan at the bank. This scared us at the beginning but we have come to the conclusion that it would be better this way than to pay a rent.

Our decision would have been a lot easier if the apartment wouldn’t have been taken into consideration. We surely don’t want to give it up and one idea was to still buy it and continue to pay for it. The other one was to rent it but it didn’t sound too appealing because we still haven’t figure it out yet. When the contract was signed one year ago we didn’t have such grinding thoughts. We still believe it would be a great investment for renting even if we were to never come back to our country.

For a while now we both feel depressed with our lives. We feel the need to do so much more in life and explore the world and learn more. Fear of the unknown drags us down every time and it has been a constant battle to fight it over. The opportunities in our country are quite limited and we feel stuck at the companies that we currently work.

We don’t want later on our lives to always wonder upon the “What if?” question but at the same time making such a big step is very scary. Leaving everything behind and starting all over again is frightening.

If some of you have experienced something similar please feel free to comment. If not, your advice would still be very much appreciated.

Also if there are any people that have lived in Dublin or are currently there would love to hear any recommendations regarding moving to this beautiful city. I visited it once and I loved it, people were so nice and the landscapes were amazing.

“We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everyhwere.” ― Tim McGraw

Love, D.

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