Am I allowed to cry?

For a while now I contemplate upon this question. Ever since I started realizing that terrible things are happening around the world I felt little; I felt that my problems shouldn’t matter that much or at all; I felt guilt for complaining over things that others wish to have and that I do not appreciate more what I have; I felt that I wasn’t allowed to cry.

So am I allowed to cry? For the little or bigger things that make me unhappy? For the struggles that I encounter? For not accomplishing everything that I want? Am I ungrateful for not settling with what I have? Am I ungrateful for wanting more?

If I am not allowed, then how big my problem has to be so that I can complain or cry? Is there even a scale to this? Can it be measured? Can my “insignificant” pain be reduced to silence because others make a higher noise?

When I think about people that live in extreme poverty, are ill or lost a loved one I feel unworthy. Unworthy of the life I am living; of the things that I am lucky to have. Is this called ungratefulness?

If I were to settle with my current situation then how can I evolve into a better person? Maybe I just need to find the right balance between appreciation and ambition. If I do manage to find the equilibrium am I still allowed to cry?

Can I shed some tears when the pain becomes too big to be carried on without thinking that others may have it worse? Can there be peace in the cryings? Can I matter just for a few moments until I come back to reality?

Am I allowed to cry?

“We need never be ashamed of our tears.” ― Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

Love, D.

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