Socializing after work

I am going to be honest and admit from the beginning that I am not a very sociable and an outgoing person. Sometimes this becomes a burden because I do feel a lot of pressure from my colleagues at work due to the fact that I don’t go out with them and I don’t get involved in their activities.

While everything they say it’s true I don’t see why this has become a problem. If you want to talk to me you can just do it, you don’t need an event where I should be present in order for you to approach me. Therefore if you have some to say it then go ahead and just say it. Same thing goes for me as well, if I really want to approach someone I will do it.

I am really trying my best to do my tasks well and to develop some standard procedures in order to simply them. For me, at this point, work is a means to earn a living, to learn something new and to improve my existing skills. Most certainly this is not my dream job and not even remotely close.

Don’t get me wrong, I have not become a savage person because I do talk with my coworkers on various topics. It’s just that I feel there should be a limit in regards to the socialization aspect. I stay at work for 8 hours plus one hour break so there is a total of 9 hours spend in the same place. After 9 hours, I wish no other hour to be spend with the same group I work all day. Another thing that makes me uncomfortable is going out in big groups. I do prefer small groups where the interactions can be stronger.

I have lots of friends with whom I go out and spend meaningful time that I completely enjoy. Even at my current job I get along very well with a coworker and we might even hang out some day. Therefore I am not being absurd and definitely close relationships can be formed at work, but I believe that it has to come naturally and without any kind of pressure. Also at my previous two jobs I formed relationships with some people and we are in touch until this day. I mentioned this aspect because I wanted to show that I can form connections at work.

I consider myself a friendly person and I love to interact with people, helping and listening them. The only condition that I require is to don’t be pushed because it will only make me step away more. People don’t seem to understand that and I feel most times scrutinized. It is bothering me but if I were to express this clearly it will only paint a worse picture of me.

So my choices are pretty limited and sometimes I can compromise but most times I won’t. I understand that networking is important but I prefer to do it during the hours that I am required to be at work. I see no point in taking this to a higher level. Maybe this is a custom specific to my country but I do not identify with it. I would like to know how do you feel about socializing after work? Do you truly enjoyed it or you would rather be doing something else?

“Don’t let your teeth make you lose respect by permanently keeping them opened for the sake of being friendly.” ― Michael Bassey Johnson

Love, D.